You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
