All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I love you. Go after that dick
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
