Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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