I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
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Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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