The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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