You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize