I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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