I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
