At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
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