help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
just tell him i said nine months
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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