Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Randomize
