I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
