K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
