dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
