I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize