I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
