Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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