i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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