So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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