The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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