the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
