David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
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