You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
