i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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