if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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