Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
