i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
