the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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