Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
