I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
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He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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