Will you blow on my dice?
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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