Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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