I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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