My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
