please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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