All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
