Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
