I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Randomize
