Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
It's just like the Real World with babies
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
