Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
