I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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