apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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