she told me i tasted like america
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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