Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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