I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
There r osticjed everywhere
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
