I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
