fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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