She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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