Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
