i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
