Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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