Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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