Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You are the jesus of drinking
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
