trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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