Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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