Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
