Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
you mean i was at the winter classic?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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