If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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