some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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