I got chris browned last night
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
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