it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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