There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
