Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
