Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
